Week 1: The Internal Audit – Standing Naked in the Truth
Series: The “Better Me” Blueprint (Part 1 of 4)
The Quiet Crisis
Have you ever had one of those days where you did “everything” on your to-do list, yet you laid in bed that night feeling completely empty? Like you were busy, but you weren’t actually moving?
That’s where I found myself recently. I was checking the boxes, answering the emails, and drinking the green smoothies, but I felt like a stranger in my own life. I realized that I was trying to “optimize” a version of myself that I didn’t even like that much.
Welcome to Week 1. Before we talk about waking up at 5:00 AM or productivity hacks, we have to do the hardest thing in the world: We have to look in the mirror without flinching.
1. The Alignment Gap
Most of our daily frustration doesn’t come from being “lazy”—it comes from cognitive dissonance. This happens when your core values and your daily actions are at war.
- The Value: “I prioritize my family.”
- The Reality: “I spend my dinner hour answering ‘urgent’ Slack messages.”
- The Result: Persistent, low-level guilt that drains your battery.
You might be asking, “What even are my values?” We use these words all the time, but we rarely define them. To help you narrow it down, look at this list. Which three make you feel a “spark” of recognition?
The Core Value Menu (Pick Your Top 3)
- Integrity: Doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
- Autonomy: The desire to be the master of your own time and choices.
- Vitality: Prioritizing physical and mental energy; feeling truly “alive.”
- Courage: The willingness to act even when you are afraid.
- Connection: Deep, authentic relationships over superficial networking.
- Curiosity: Approaching life with an open mind rather than a need to be “right.”
- Contribution: Finding meaning in helping others.
- Simplicity: Stripping away the “excess” to focus on the essential.
- Resilience: The ability to find the lesson in the struggle.
- Presence: Being fully “here” in the moment.
2. The Energy Leak Assessment (The “Vampire” List)
Think of your daily energy like a battery. Most of us think the battery dies because we “work too hard.” Usually, the battery dies because of micro-leaks.
In my own audit, I realized a massive leak was “The Ghost of the Unread Notification.” Just knowing there were 42 unread messages made me feel tired before I even opened them. I was leaking energy into a digital abyss.
The Three-Day Energy Map: Carry a small notebook for three days. Every two hours, ask yourself: On a scale of 1-10, how “heavy” do I feel?
- The “10s” (The Radiators): These are people, tasks, or environments that make you feel light.
- The “1s” (The Drains): These are the vampires. The clutter on your kitchen counter. The person who only calls you to complain.
3. Naming Your “Inner Saboteur”
We all have a script running in the back of our minds. Mine sounds like a disappointed high school teacher telling me I’m “missing my potential.” I call him “The Inspector.” When I start feeling like a failure, I say, “Oh, The Inspector is doing a surprise visit today. Thanks for the feedback, but I’m busy.” It sounds silly, but it creates space. You are not your thoughts; you are the one observing your thoughts. See if you recognize any of these characters lurking in your mental hallways:
The Inner Saboteur Lineup
- The Perfectionist: Believes if it’s not flawless, it’s a failure.
- The People-Pleaser: Prioritizes everyone else’s peace over their own progress.
- The Procrastinator: Convinces you that you’ll be more “ready” tomorrow.
- The Imposter: Constant whispers that you’re a fraud.
- The Comparison Thief: Judges your “behind-the-scenes” against everyone else’s “highlight reel.”
- The Doomsdayer: Takes a small mistake and turns it into a catastrophic future.
- The Taskmaster: Believes your worth is strictly tied to your productivity.
- The Victim: Convinces you that the world is happening to you.
- The Distractor: Pushes you toward snacks or social media the moment things get uncomfortable.
- The Judge: Heavily critiques both you and everyone around you.
4. Your Week 1 “Deep Work” Assignment
This isn’t a “read and forget” post. This is a session. To get the most out of this week, I want you to do these three things:
The Brutal Honesty Journal: Answer this prompt: “If I were 10% braver, what is the one thing I would stop doing immediately?”
The Time-Value Tracker: For 48 hours, jot down what you did every hour. At the end, highlight anything that actually aligned with your Top 3 Values.
The Digital Sunset: For one hour before bed, put your phone in a different room. Feel the “itch” to grab it. Sit with that itch. That itch is where your real self is hiding.
Closing Thoughts
This week might feel slow. It might even feel a little heavy. That’s okay. You are excavating the site so we can build something that actually lasts.
I’m struggling with the “Digital Sunset” part myself—the urge to check my emails at 11:00 PM is real. But I’m choosing my peace over my pings. I want to hear from you: Which Inner Saboteur is the loudest in your head this week? Drop their name in the comments. I’ll go first—mine is The Distractor. Let’s name them so they lose their power. I hope you’ll join me in the discomfort of being honest.
Until next week’s session.